Relationship problems are a common reason that people seek help from mental health professionals.2 Emotion-focused couple therapy (EFT) and behavioural couple therapy (BCT) are two of the most widely studied and supported forms of treatment for relationship problems.3, 28 Research has shown that these psychological interventions are helpful in improving relationship satisfaction and the quality of interactions for many couples.29-31
Both these therapies focus on a range of strategies to improve communication and increase understanding of one another.
Changing the view of the relationship
Rather than blaming each other, it is helpful for both partners to accept that their attitudes and behaviours influence the relationship. Each partner might think about the causes and consequences of their behaviour, and develop a better understanding of how their actions affect their partner, positively and negatively.32
Expressing emotion
Couples who are experiencing difficulties in their relationship often avoid expressing their emotions or vulnerabilities, or they may criticise or blame each other. Sharing private thoughts and emotions, and encouraging caring, understanding, and acceptance from a partner, can be helpful in building closeness within a relationship.32
Using affection and humour
The use of playfulness, affection and positive humour (rather than humour that includes criticism or put-downs), particularly during arguments, also promotes relationship satisfaction and closeness.33, 34
Improving communication
Learning effective communication and problem-solving skills can be an important part of improving interactions within a relationship. For example, if there are high levels of criticism or blame, each partner might learn new ways of openly but respectfully expressing his or her concerns. Or, for couples who avoid communication, learning to safely share their worries and increase positive expression of emotions may be helpful.32
Problem-solving within a relationship might include steps such as agreeing on a clear definition of the problem, brainstorming solutions and the likely outcomes for each partner, agreeing on a solution and trying it out, and making a plan to re-evaluate whether it solved the problem or needs further work.35
Promoting strengths
Focusing on the positive aspects of the relationship and of your partner can increase levels of enjoyment and satisfaction, and encourages positive behaviour.32 For example, couples might like to think about what attracted them to their partner in the first place,36 or to think about things they can do that their partner would appreciate, and deliberately do those things more frequently.35