This article is featured in Domain and is republished with permission.
How old is too old to still be living with mum and dad?
The answer is 31, according to a major new survey of over 1000 Australians, from Baby Boomers to Gen Z, about the age at which young people should be independent.
It’s a finding that’s shocked researchers from the company asking the question, the financial and consumer comparison website Finder.
“I’m surprised at how critical people were; I’d imagined they’d be a lot more understanding of these young people’s situation today,” Finder money expert Richard Whitten says.
“They’re facing a lot of issues like a rising cost of living, high rents and high property prices, which are keeping many at home.
“But I suppose generally people still consider the age of 31 as the age where it’s a rite of passage to become independent.”
For those directly in the firing line, it’s even more upsetting.
Sydney writer Ceyda – who’s asked for her surname not to be used – is 31 and has just moved back in with her parents after spending most of her earnings on rent.
“I was living out of home for two to three years alone,” she says. “It was a massive financial burden on me, and I realised there’s no way I could save much for a deposit on a place to buy in that situation.
“So, I’ve ended up going back home so I can save, and while there are natural challenges for all of us, I’m very lucky in that my parents welcomed me back. I’m also a Muslim, and in my culture, it can be quite normal for adults to still live with their parents until they leave home to marry.”
The Finder survey found that 31 was the cut-off point for respondents’ opinions across the board, although Gen Ys and Gen Xers – those aged between 30 and 61 – were more lenient, suggesting that the higher age of 32 should be the limit for staying at home.
Meanwhile, the oldest group, Baby Boomers, aged 62 to 80, and the youngest group, Gen Zers, aged 14 to 29, came down harder, saying 30 should be the maximum.
Data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics reveals that more than half (51 per cent) of Australian men aged 20-24 were living with their parents in 2021, and 43 per cent of women the same age were still at home.
The proportion of young adults living with their parents has increased across every age group up to the early thirties since 2006.
Demographic data platform ID did research on the phenomenon after the 2016 census, finding that there’d been a modest rise in the previous five years, leaving 43.4 per cent of 20-24-year-olds and 17 per cent of 25-29-year-olds residing at home, up from 41.4 per cent and 15.7 per cent respectively in 2011.
Leading ID demographer Glenn Capuano says there has been no follow-up in the last census since COVID that would distort the trend, but he’s planning to conduct fresh research into it now.
“I think we’ll find a significant increase in the age of young adults staying at home with their parents,” he says.
“We would certainly be expecting that in the metro areas among the 25-plus age cohort because both rents and property prices have risen so much.
“They’re facing a number of challenges with the rising cost of living, too, and maybe Baby Boomers didn’t have that so much, and younger people haven’t yet faced the same hurdles.”
The Finder research found that rising housing costs, longer periods in education and better employment opportunities in the cities all contributed to the rising pressures on young people.
“But we’re seeing property prices start to flatten in Sydney and Melbourne so maybe there’ll be a bit less pain in the future,” Whitten says.
“It’s important, though, to save as much as possible at home to make it worthwhile.”
The latest Domain Forecast Report FY27 is tipping Sydney house prices to fall by as much as 7 per cent over the next 12 months, and Melbourne house prices by up to 8 per cent, with unit prices predicted to weaken by up to 3 per cent, to give young people more hope of being able to buy sooner.
For those moving back in with parents, however, they may feel a loss of independence, privacy or control over their daily lives and may struggle with feeling “stuck” between adolescence and adulthood, says Dr Kelly Gough, president of the Australian Psychological Society.
“Some young adults may experience embarrassment or social stigma, particularly when comparing themselves to others who have moved out and built careers or started families,” he says.
“Individuals may feel frustrated, dependent or delayed in reaching their personal goals.
“[But] it can be helpful to have clearly defined household responsibilities that are fair and divide household tasks between members of the family. Regular discussions about feelings, concerns, and expectations can prevent misunderstandings and build mutual respect.”