This article is featured in Citro and is republished with permission.
Our house used to be the outlier on the street – the only one with three generations under one roof: our daughter and two grandkids aged eight and five, and my partner and myself.
Now we’re one of three multigenerational households on the block and part of a growing trend - in the five years between the 2016 census and 2021 census, the number of Australia homes housing three generations jumped by 21 per cent.
It works for us because we have space: two bathrooms, a large garden for kids to play in and two grandparents who can tolerate mess. It can be stressful at times, especially when you work from home (hello, noise-cancelling headphones).
There can be less privacy, less down time, more noise, and more potential for conflict - think peak hour in the kitchen. It can be challenging - but that’s not all bad if it helps you learn stuff like patience and tolerance. Besides, there are benefits too.
Why multigenerational living works for us …mostly
For us grandparents, it means living at a faster pace at a time when lives often slow down - and that’s no bad thing either. The juggling act of managing work deadlines and other commitments, as well as helping with kids’ school runs, sports, playdates and sometimes homework, forces our brains to stay agile and problem solve, and keeps us on our feet (it’s hard to live with young kids and not be physically active).
Plus, we love being able to help teach our grandchildren healthy habits too.
There are practical advantages as well - we help with childcare but having others in the house means we can travel overseas knowing the dog is in good hands.
We’re also in touch with our grandkids’ lives in a way that we wouldn’t otherwise be and that helps us understand them and their world better. You can’t live with grandkids without getting your head around Labubus, Pokemon, Roblox and KPop Demon Hunters - and even if you think that’s a load of rubbish, and you wish they’d read a book instead - it’s an insight into their world and you need to keep up.
Halloween is an example - I hated this US import with its overload of sugar and tacky decorations. Now I’ll stand at the door doling out Freddo frogs while the kids and their mum go trick or treating.
Can multigenerational living boost longevity?
There’s little research specifically into the health effects of multigenerational living but there’s good evidence that older people living with others may have had a lower risk of mortality, according to 2023 research by Dr Suraj Samtani, Postdoctoral Fellow at the Centre for Healthy Brain Ageing (CHeBA) at UNSW Sydney, looking at more than 39,000 people across the globe.
Strong social connection is likely to be a reason, says Dr Samtani. “Research from Harvard University has found that being socially active can delay chronic health problems like heart disease and diabetes so people stay healthier for longer. One reason may be that social contact reduces stress - and we know that prolonged stress can lead to chronic inflammation which is linked to heart disease and diabetes.
“We also know that when people have social contact they’re less likely to develop depression which can then lead to other health problems. It’s like a chain reaction - isolation can lead to depression which can result in people drinking too much or not eating properly,” he explains.
Can living together help ward-off dementia?
“Being around other people might also have other benefits. Our research shows that having someone to confide in can reduce our risk of developing dementia,” says Dr Samtani.
We don’t know if living in a multigenerational household reduces dementia risk, but a fascinating US study looking at the long term influence of family structure on cognition found that, compared to people growing up in single parent or two parent households, those who’d grown up in multigenerational households with a grandparent had better cognitive function in older age.
“Why grandparents made a difference isn’t clear but it’s likely that they formed close social connections with their grandchildren and also provided more opportunities for conversation on different topics,” Dr Samtani adds. “This kind of cognitive stimulation is important for our brains because it leads to cognitive reserve, which is when we have multiple ways of thinking about things. Building and maintaining cognitive reserve throughout life is important because it’s thought to protect against developing dementia.”
Tips for making multigenerational living work
“Navigating the dynamics when multiple generations live together can be rewarding - but also challenging. It’s not uncommon for families in this situation to experience disagreements and conflict, but there are ways to mitigate this,” says Dr Catriona Davis-McCabe from the Australian Psychological Society and Professor of Psychology at the Cairnmillar Institute.
Dr Catriona Davis-McCabe’s helpful advice:
• It’s helpful to have clearly defined household responsibilities and divide chores between members of the family .
• Have clear expectations for adult children around financial contributions and personal boundaries.
• Sometimes, grandparents and their adult children have different parenting styles, and this can create tension. Respect each other’s parenting styles and talk about any concerns early, rather than letting tensions build.
• Regular family meetings or discussions about feelings, concerns, and expectations can prevent misunderstandings and build mutual respect.