This article is featured in Body+Soul and is republished with permission.
Just like Noel and Liam Gallagher did, it’s not uncommon for adult siblings to fall out. For many, the experience can be very hurtful – but there are ways to mend the rift.
Oasis has finally landed on our shores to make their long-awaited return, and millennials couldn’t be more thrilled.
It’s not just the prospect of belting out Wonderwall in a packed stadium that has fans buzzing – it’s the fact that Noel and Liam Gallagher, the famously feuding brothers, have apparently set aside their differences to reunite for a world tour.
For those who missed the Britpop era, here’s a quick recap.
Long before One Direction or Taylor Swift dominated the charts, Oasis were music royalty.
But behind the swagger and parkas, tensions between frontman Liam and his older brother Noel – the band’s main songwriter and guitarist – were simmering.
In 2009, after years of public spats and clashes, their relationship imploded, leading to a bitter band break-up.
Both pursued solo careers – but in 2024, they shocked fans by announcing they were reuniting for an epic global tour.
So how did these two famously combative siblings manage to bury the hatchet?
And could their reconciliation offer hope – or even advice – for other estranged siblings, including another pair of high-profile British brothers, Prince William and Prince Harry?
While we don’t have the inside story from the Gallaghers themselves, we spoke to some Australian relationship experts to explore why adult siblings often drift apart, the challenges of mending fractured relationships, and how to navigate the tricky path to reconciliation.
Why do siblings become estranged?
When you’re kids, it’s common for siblings to fight over favourite toys or to compete for attention, but the reasons for sibling disagreements can be complex once you’re adults.
“As adults, siblings can fall out over many things – money, perceived favouritism, lifestyle differences, or tensions around ageing parents,” psychotherapist and relationship counsellor Melissa Ferrari says.
“But often the real trigger lies deeper. Childhood roles, competition for attention, or old wounds can resurface when life gets stressful.
“When those patterns re-emerge, the conflict can feel raw and disproportionate because it connects to very old feelings.”
Childhood family dynamics often have a large role in how siblings interact when they’re older.
“Family roles are typically assigned early on – the ‘good’ one, the ‘smart’ one, the ‘troubled’ one, for example,” psychologist Rachael Walden says.
“Families are often unaware of creating these dynamics, which can play out way into adulthood.
“When the script of the family is repeated often enough, we can start to believe it ourselves and adhere to these roles despite evidence to the contrary.”
How common is sibling estrangement?
It’s not just famous musos or British royals who find themselves at odds with one another.
A German study, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, found about 28 per cent of people had been estranged from at least one sibling at some point in their life.
Sibling estrangement can occur in any family, and it can be an issue that isn’t openly discussed as people can feel embarrassed or ashamed that they don’t have a close relationship.
“Sibling estrangement will likely have a major effect on family dynamics,” Walden says.
And often some of the issues between siblings can be, in part, the fault of a parent or parents or other authority figure from childhood.
“These people often allowed bullying to occur, joined in on creating a role or personality for the siblings, or might have started things by pitting siblings against one another,” Walden explains.
“This means that when one person says they have had enough and want to discontinue a relationship with their sibling, the family can feel it is an overreaction, making things unnecessarily difficult, or (have) other invalidating responses.”
The psychologist says the family’s response can often leave the person who has called the estrangement feeling “very isolated and alone, judged and uncared for, and questioning if they have done the right thing”.
How to cope when you’re estranged from your sibling
No one grows up thinking they will be cut off from a sibling they once had a close bond with, but it can happen.
Australian Psychological Society chief executive Dr Zena Burgess says there are some things you can do to protect yourself when navigating family estrangement.
“These include prioritising self-care, ensuring you get adequate sleep, eating well, exercising and taking time to do things that you enjoy,” Dr Burgess says.
“Allow yourself time to come to terms with feelings of loss and grief. It is also important to respect other people’s boundaries, whether we agree with them or not.”
She adds that professional support from a psychologist can help, as can talking to a trusted friend.
Ferrari says family events can be fraught with challenges, so it pays to be prepared.
“If attending family events feels necessary but painful, plan ahead,” the relationship counsellor advises.
“Keep conversations light, set time limits or have a support person nearby.”
How to start healing the rift
Ideally, issues should be discussed calmly and clearly – and only when both people are ready.
“Healing a fractured sibling relationship starts with openness and honesty,” Ferrari says.
“Both parties need to be ready to listen as well as speak. If the core issue isn’t addressed, it’s likely to resurface – often at family events or in moments of stress.”
But if Liam and Noel Gallagher can share a dressing room again, there might be hope for the rest of us.
“Liam and Noel’s story shows how layered sibling bonds can be,” Ferrari says.
“They weren’t just brothers – they were colleagues, creative partners, and competitors, spending years under intense public pressure.
“Their ability to tour together again suggests that with time, maturity and perhaps a little nostalgia, even the deepest rifts can soften.”