This article is featured in The Daily Telegraph and is republished with permission.
Is this the secret to making your New Year’s resolutions stick? Families who set goals together have better success rates and stronger bonds, says Dr Zena Burgess.
As another year winds down, many people reflect upon the year that was and begin creating a list of personal improvements for the new year.
The decision to make New Year’s resolutions can be influenced by a combination of psychological, social, and cultural factors and can fulfil multiple psychological needs.
Traditionally, New Year’s resolutions are solitary exercises; get promoted, learn a new language, run a marathon. But what if we broadened the lens and instead of creating individual goals, we set resolutions as families?
We already know that setting specific, challenging goals can be incredibly motivating. The same holds true at a family level.
A resolution such as going for a weekly screen-free walk together or create a monthly family volunteer day moves the focus from personal discipline to shared commitment and allows family members to come together and motivate each other towards a common goal and shared value.
In recent years, we have become more attuned to how our choices shape our health. People know the importance of looking after their health and wellbeing so it’s no surprise that many people set New Year’s resolutions around their health and wellbeing goals.
The festive period can be a time of overindulgence in both food and alcohol and stress can be linked to emotional eating.
Instead of each person individually deciding to eat better next year, or adults vowing to cut out alcohol, a family resolution might be as simple as planning two home-cooked meals together each week for the year.
For those who have created a ‘chosen family’, that is, a close network of friends who provide emotional support, trust and a sense of belonging, creating New Year’s resolutions together may further strengthen relationships and boost motivation.
Of course, the golden rule still applies: goals must remain realistic. Overly ambitious or punitive goals set families up for failure, just as they do for individuals.
Setting approach-oriented goals such as eating more vegetables as a family has been shown to have more success than avoidance-oriented goals such as no one is allowed any dessert.
SMART goals are perhaps even more important when multiple people are involved. Resolutions should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
Instead of a vague, spend more quality time together, you could try having one tech-free family night every Wednesday in January and see how this works for your family.
When setbacks happen, try not view them as failures, rather as opportunities to learn and adapt. Use this as an opportunity to talk as a family about resilience. Maybe the first attempt at a weekly walk falls apart, that’s okay – reassess the goal for your family and make adjustments if necessary.
When you’re on the journey to achieving your collective goals, don’t forget to celebrate the small wins along the way – this is a great way to note your progress and keep you motivated.
Role model resilience and show your children that we are human and failure is part of life. And if New Year’s resolutions aren’t for you? That’s perfectly fine too. There are many other ways you can create healthy habits and set goals for the year as a family.