This article is featured in The Senior and is republished with permission.
When retirees make the often-tough decision to downsize to live a low-maintenance lifestyle or move to a more retirement-friendly area, they are often aware of the moving costs. But what about the emotional ones?
Downsizing has become popular to minimise large property costs, such as rates and property upkeep, as well as reap the financial rewards of making a profit when selling the family home and buying a smaller one.
For others, it is a way to reduce rental costs, live in a cheaper location or embrace a retirement-friendly lifestyle.
But for widow 74-year-old Lenore* (who wished to use a pseudonym to prevent ridicule), she found downsizing was not just a straightforward financial and physical move - an emotional cost came as a surprise.
"I think I got caught up with the idea of downsizing, because everyone tells you that's what you should do," she told The Senior.
"[But] I craved my own space from a young age. I dreamt of space."
Retirees and empty nesters are often encouraged to move from their bigger family homes for ease of living in retirement (such as that suggested by a Grattan Institute report), but suitable housing can be hard to find.
I just never gave myself a thought. I forgot how much I hate small spaces, and how much I love having family and friends over... I found [the downsize] depressing.
- Lenore, 74
Smaller one-to-three-bedroom apartments and houses suitable for downsizers, made up less than half of homes built between the 2016 and 2021 Censuses, according to the realestate.com.au GemLife Downsizing Australia Report.
And although the report found the "two key" factors driving people to want to downsize were lower-maintenance living (34 per cent) and retirement (29 per cent), it also found barriers stopping people.
Seventeen per cent of people surveyed said one of the main factors stopping them from downsizing was not being able to find the right-sized home.
Living with her late husband, John, in a large home in Port Stephens, NSW, Lenore was always house-proud because she "grew up poor", with her and her two sisters sharing a room until she moved out of home.
But once she downsized to a nearby town's upmarket retirement village, it was only then she stopped to think about the emotional reality of downsizing.
"One of my children, their partner and kids wanted to stay for a visit. I was excited to see them," she said.
"But going from a four-bedroom house to a two-bedroom meant we were cramped, we were getting on each other's nerves and I thought 'what have I done?'."
Her advice to other retirees is to think about what their personalities are like, what they like doing and if living in "tighter" conditions is something that would suit them.
"I just never gave myself a thought. I forgot how much I hate small spaces, and how much I love having family and friends over," she said.
"I found it depressing."
Lenore said people kept telling her downsizing "was the way to go" because the focus was on her property maintenance and living without her husband.
"No one, including myself, talked about if it would actually suit me," she said.
Lenore "stuck it out" in her two-bedroom "shoebox", before putting it on the market and buying a bigger house that was on a smaller block than the home she shared with her husband.
"I know it sounds stupid, but when I feel cramped I feel like I can't think or breathe," she said.
Not everyone feels comfortable living in a smaller home. For some people, smaller spaces may lead to feelings of stress, discomfort or a sense of being restricted.
- Dr Zena Burgess
Downsizing can also bring feelings of isolation if moving to a new area, as well as the frustration of not having the space to do beloved hobbies.
Australian Psychological Society CEO Dr Zena Burgess said people can respond in different ways to a relocation and people can develop strong emotional bonds with their home and community, called "place attachment".
"Particularly if that place is home and is associated with safety, family ...the impact of a move can be compounded when it occurs alongside another significant life change such as the loss of a loved one or retirement," she said.
Dr Burgess said a sense of space can differ in people and not all retirees should downsize.
"People often face social and family pressures to downsize based on stereotypical ideas about age-appropriate behaviours and decisions," she said.
"Not everyone feels comfortable living in a smaller home. For some people, smaller spaces may lead to feelings of stress, discomfort or a sense of being restricted.
Dr Burgess said people should work out what and where makes them feel happy and prioritise a home that supports their "mental health, lifestyle" and quality of life.
For people who need to live in a smaller property because of financial constraints, Dr Burgess recommends they "compensate for this loss" by spending time in large public spaces, such as libraries and parks.
The hidden financial costs of downsizing can also add up, such as removalists, stamp duty, legal fees, real estate commission, insurance, storage, decluttering, cleaning, house repairs and rubbish removal, such as skip bins.
* Name has been changed for anonymity