This article is featured in The Advertiser and is republished with permission.
One of Australia’s leading psychology experts says Brooklyn Beckham’s highly-publicised rift with his parents could, oddly enough, spark helpful conversation about intergenerational tensions.
Australian Psychological Society CEO Zena Burgess says when celebrities’ private affairs play out in public it can “normalise” household conversations, happening behind closed doors.
“When high profile conflicts play out in the public arena, it may bring existing, complex issues into the open and create space for broader, more nuanced discussions about boundaries and intergenerational relationships,” she said.
“(So) when a public figure speaks openly about setting boundaries or stepping away from family relationships, it can help normalise conversations that many people are already having behind closed doors.
“(This can) encourage others to articulate feelings they may have struggled to name (and) as a result, there may be more open dialogue and reflection around the topic.
Dr Burgess says family rifts and estrangement are “complex and deeply personal” and can have significant emotional and social implications – and more common than most people realise.
“Family estrangement affects around one in 25 Australians,” she said.
“Conflict can arise from the very nature of family itself: relationships are foundational, emotionally-charged and often expected to be enduring.
“The decision to cut a person/people out of your life is rarely made lightly and is often driven by a combination of factors related to the need for self-protection, preservation of mental health and unresolved emotional conflict.
“The impact of family estrangement may be far-reaching and have a significant effect on all family members, not just those that are at the centre of the conflict. Feelings of grief, loss, anger or resentment are common.
“Decisions to remain estranged can also be challenging and may evoke feelings of guilt, sadness, and doubt.”
Dr Burgess says adult children staying at home longer could sometimes be problematic.
“I also think the fact older adult children are staying at home longer does make it harder … (they’re stuck) in a bit of a teenage phase of reacting to their parents,” she said.
“Some adult children may blame their parents – either consciously or unconsciously – for what has gone wrong in their lives; recognising how parents contributed to struggles can be a healthy, even necessary, step in healing but remaining stuck in blame mode often prevents growth and can turn into a permanent sense of victimhood, or strained family relationships.”
Emotional health
New York-based therapist and “family repair coach” Marie Morin says family estrangement is on the rise, describing it as a “painful, growing trend” in which “more and more adult children are going no contact with their parents”.
“It happens more often than people like to admit,” she says, pointing to a “generational shift in emotional expectations”.
“Something has shifted, especially in the millennial and Gen Z generations,” she says.
“These generations have … a new language around mental health, boundaries, trauma and toxic dynamics … many were told things like, ‘if someone disrespects you, even if they are related to you, you have the right to protect yourself’.”
Ms Morin says in 2026 an individual’s emotional health comes ahead of family loyalty.
“Children are more likely to (now) ask things like, ‘does this relationship make me feel heard, am I OK, am I safe and am I valued?’ … when adult children feel like they have been unheard they sometimes choose silence over the struggle,” she says.
“I also think the fact older adult children are staying at home longer does make it harder … (they’re stuck) in a bit of a teenage phase of reacting to their parents.”
Celebrity crisis
While each family’s situation is unique, common themes include: parents losing contact with their children after divorce, abuse or neglect, perceived favouritism, involvement of new partners, financial stress and differing belief systems or values.
The Beckham family’s reported family feud – between David and Victoria and the eldest of their four children, Brooklyn and his wife Nicola Peltz-Beckham – has unfolded in the public eye with their son snubbing a series of family milestones, including his dad’s 50th birthday celebration, and ignoring his famous football father’s naming in the King’s birthday honours.
No matter who you are, a family breakdown is heartbreaking; Prince Harry’s alienation from the Royal Family is arguably the world’s most talked about family fallout while Britney Spears’ fight with her dad, Jamie Spears, and sister, Jamie Lynn Spears, has long garnered global attention.
Brad Pitt, meanwhile, is reportedly estranged from most of his six kids following his split with Angelina Jolie, with daughter Shiloh filing to drop Pitt’s surname on her 18th birthday.
“Everyone’s lost something in these situations,” Dr Burgess says.
“There are many things that can lead to (family estrangement) but often it’s a way for people to protect themselves from further hurt, so they just don’t have contact – but that causes hurt too.
“Sometimes in families there can be a dispute about one issue and that leads to people not talking and the years go on and people can’t even remember what the issue was, they just know that they’re not going to talk to that person.”
Dr Burgess says key psychological drivers behind making the choice to cut contact with family might include “chronic stress and trauma, healthy boundaries, assertiveness and agency, breaking cycles of dysfunction” with family violence also sometimes a factor.
“It often involves weighing the benefits of self-protection against the costs of severing ties and is usually taken after considerable reflection, often in consultation with a psychologist,” she said.
Over-stepping boundaries
“Boundaries can also be a tricky area because what one generation thinks is fine, another generation may not … I’ve have many people talk to me about how to handle interactions with their mother-in-law or their father-in law and how to navigate the extended family boundaries where there was too much involvement, or not enough involvement.”
Not surprisingly, social media can add fuel to the fire.
“It is very easy for adult children to now run commentary on their parents … often the focus is on what they did badly and how it was their parents’ fault that the adult child didn’t turn out the way they wanted to be – social media (allows for) much more commentaryand judgement around people’s parenting styles,” she says.
Clinical psychologist Darryl Cross notes that expectations around being the “perfect parent” have increased.
“Whether it is the advent of social media and people being able to compare and contrast more rapidly and evaluate or judge others in a quicker way, or whether it is that more information is now available … it does seem anecdotally (this is the case),” he said.
Parenting trends
Rachel Jolly, a family relationship consultant at The Adelaide Resolutions Centre, points also to generational shifts in parenting styles, extending beyond particular daily routines and food preferences.
“Over generations – and as society changes – adult children form their own ideas that are separate from their parents in relation to how they want to parent their children,” she says.
“(This can include) language that they use with their grandchildren, for example, calling the children ‘naughty’ … a lot of parents who are parenting their children in this generation understand the potential implications (on) identity and self-worth.”
One of the experts the Sunday Mail spoke to told how she’d recently viewed a text message “containing three screens of instructions to a grandmother from a new mother, on how to care for her baby – even though the grandmother had raised four children of her own”.
At its most extreme, Adelaide collaborative law specialists Bev Clark and Erica Panagakos, co-directors of Clark Panagakos Family Law, say there are heart-rending scenarios in which adult children deprive grandparents of a relationship with their children.
“I was fortunate to grow up in a multi-generational household where my grandparents played an integral role in my upbringing; I can’t imagine what it would be like to have no relationship with them due to a conflict between them and my parent,” Ms Panagakos says